I know, I know, I had a very short lived comeback. I fear I may have lost all four of my readers, but I’m going to take a chance that at least two of you will read this with some interest.

Here is what’s been happening in my world.

I’ve decided to become a stay at home mom (a/k/a housewife) for the near future. The thought of going back to work and taking care of two babies is too daunting. I was out of work for so long, it would only be reasonable that the firm would want me back soon, and at 150%. Who could blame them? Um, well, my babies probably could when they never saw their mom. And, speaking of babies. . .

We are the proud owners of two brand new baby boys. The NotGuilty twins were born on August 1, 2007 at 1:45 and 1:46 pm via C section (they suck, by the way, don’t be fooled by the glamour of the easy birth, the recovery is terrible). We had hoped for a regular birth (you know, through the vajayjay) and it seemed possible since both Baby A NG and Baby B NG were head down. . . until the Monday before their birth. Baby B NG decided to lie sideways across the top of my belly. He (well, i didn’t know he was a he at the time) was also not growing the way he was supposed to so at 37 weeks and 5 days, after 16 weeks of bedrest, they came into the world screaming up a storm.

A NG weighed 6lb7oz and clearly was getting the lion’s share of the Steven Colbert’s Americone Dream Ice Cream. Baby B NG weighed in at 4lb13.5oz. He was obviously just getting the ensure and the occasional salad. They are both so teeny weeny (but 19 and 18 inches long, respectively) that I can’t believe they actually let us take them home. I mean, what were they thinking? This afternoon, husband was moving Baby A’s lips ventriloquist style and singing “What’s new pussycat”. I mean, it was hilarious but are we supposed to be doing that?

We are delighted yet clueless about all of this stuff. Not only do these guys not come with manuals, but they are also pretty fragile looking and you don’t want to do stuff that might break them. Especially our lightweight. He is like a little chick with scrawny arms and legs that we are trying very hard to fatten up. They are clearly not identical; A NG is dark haired and brown skinned (yeah, now we know what color they are!) and B NG is a little pink think with a body covered in light brown fur. They also already have different personalities that you can already see. A NG is Mr. Sleepy and B NG is Mr. Hungry. They are both miracles and so precious, that there is no doubt that every minute of anxiety, depression, and muscle atrophy was worth it and if I had to, I would do it again in a heart beat.

Oh, and that whole breastfeeding thing is not as easy as it looks, especially not with two. It makes bedrest and taking the bar look like child’s play. It’s not like you just take off your top and stick your boob in the kid’s mouth. Oh no, you need consultants to make sure you are doing it right, or to let you know why and how you are doing it wrong. You need special equipment and you need to pump and prime your body. Yeah, natural it might be, like riding a bike.

I am going to try to be better about blogging, but needless to say it won’t have much of a legal slant for a while. Or, maybe I’ll be able to post about things I truly care about that are law related. We’ll see what direction this new life of mine takes me in, I hope the four of you stick around for the ride.