Dear Babies Y,

I am sitting here with channel 47 on the television. There is a show on Easter Island on that station right now. You two are asleep in your bassinet upstairs and your daddy is asleep on the couch wearing his Bad Religion t-shirt. It looks a lot like the one he made for you. Yes, your dad made you Bad Religion T-shirts. He also made you t-shirts that say “Halfghan” with half the American flag and half the Afghan flag. I didn’t know that becoming a father would make him an iron-on fool. I guess we don’t ever know how this ride will change us.

There are so many things I’d like to tell you and so many things I’d like to warn you about. I know that a lot of things you’ll have to learn on your own. You’ll have to make your own mistakes and find your own way. But, there are a few things I’d like you to hear me out on anyway.

First, try new foods. You’ll see as you get older, well, mommy likes organ meats. You’ll probably wake up to the smell of frying liver and onions, we’ll go out and I’ll order sweetbreads and kidneys. Try them. You may not like them. But put them in your mouth and chew. If you hate it, spit it into a napkin. Try it again in a few months. Or a year or two later. You might like them at some point. Some tastes are acquired, like stinky cheeses and brussel sprouts and some kinds of olives. But try it. Unless it is that poison fish thingy. Don’t try that.

Learn how to dance. It isn’t gay. By the way, if you are gay, we love you anyway. Girls love guys who can dance. Your mom dances with you all the time right now. Don’t be embarrassed, ashamed, or secretive about it. Dance out loud, whenever you can, however you can.

Listen to country music. And 80’s new wave. And punk rock. And whatever is on the radio right now. Raid our vinyl collection. Listen to the Ventures and Music to Dine By. If it skips, let us know and we’ll try to get another one on e-bay or we’ll have it beamed to us or whatever way we will get things when you are older. Music is magic. And, you need it to dance to.

Make good friends. Guy friends. Girl friends (not ‘girlfriends’ Girl friends). Tell them your secrets. Listen to what they have to say. Then do what you know in your heart is right. Keep your friends close. Let them into your life. Tell them you love them. That also isn’t gay. Again, if you are gay, we love you.

Talk to me. I know you probably won’t, but I’d like to let you know that you can talk to me. About anything. Seriously. Before you were born I had ideas of what I thought this would be like. I thought that my love might have boundaries, or conditions. I was so incredibly wrong. There is nothing you can do that would make me turn my back on you. If you do something awful, I will tell you its awful. But, I will love you. If you do something you think is awful, it might not really be that bad and most likely, your dad and I did much worse. So, talk to me.

Find something you love and stick with it. I never loved doing anything before I had the two of you. Now, I love being with you. I love changing your diaper and feeding you and playing with you and getting you dressed. But its so important to find something you love – art, music, a sport. Practice it. Don’t give it up. Keep doing it. Make it a part of who you are. It will make you a more complete person.

Don’t live for money. Don’t live to work. Work enough to stay alive. And, you’ll make money if you do the thing you love. Life is so very short. You don’t believe that now, but one day when you look into your own babies’ eyes, you’ll know how very short it is. Don’t waste it trying to stockpile your stuff. Use your time traveling – the world is an amazing place. Learn how to cook. Grow a garden. Learn to use watercolors. Put all of mommy’s cassettes onto CD. There are so many things to do in this life. Use your time wisely.

I know along the way I’m going to say “don’t do this” and “don’t do that” and I will probably throw out the “because I said so” every now and then, but these things, this list, well, its really important. And, while the “don’t do this” and “don’t do that” and “because I said so” list will change as we go through this life, this one here will stay the same. I promise.

Love,

Mommy